It's nice if you found a new home, eh?
And I found one. Blogging wise, I've learned a lot. From a novice blogger, to, I can say a learner.. I am learning a lot. This is always home but I will stop blogging from this nest and start my way of building something more useful.
Follow me here: WAi PAi.
To my few blog readers, I'll see you on my new home. :)
Cheers!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Moving
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Lasing
"Alak pa!" madalas na bukambibig ko.
Hindi pa man natatapos ang klase ko, napapaginipan ko na ang alak. Iniisip ko kung ilang bote na naman ang mapapatumba ko habang nakikipaginuman sa 6 na lalakeng barkada ko.
Tubig at Gin bulag lang, ok na sa kin. Hindi ko naisip ang epekto no`n. Ang alam ko lang, masaya kong nakikitang unti unting gumagapang na ang mga kasama ko at akoý patuloy pa ring tumutungga.
Hanggang sa nagkatrabaho ako at nabarkadang muli. San Mig Light na, may sweldo na ako e. Pero hindi nasanay ang bahay alak ko sa isang nakakabagot at walang kalasa lasang beer. Ang alam ko lang baybayin ay ang makasunog bitukang hard drinks.
Hindi ako lasing habang sinusulat ko ito. Naalala ko lamang kung paanong ang bisyong halos araw araw kong pinagkakaabalahan ay unti-unti ng nawawala, at mawawala sa aking sistema.
Kung paanong ang bisyong ito ay mahirap kalimutan, ngunit mahirap gawin, ay isang bagay na kailangan ko sa tuwing naaalala ko ang lahat ng masasakit na nangyari, at kung paano ko saktan ang isang taong mahalagang mahalaga sa akin.
Naramdaman kong halos gumuhit sa aking lalamunan ang malamig na malamig na bote ng beer habang nakikipagtagisan ang aking utak sa mga alaala ng isang taong dati ay ako lang ang mahal.
Hindi ko naisip na ganon ko sya nasaktan, na ganoon pala ang sakit na ibinigay ko sa kanya. Lahat ng iyon, binalewala ko dahil alam kong nadyan lang sya para sa akin, gaya ng isang bote ng alak na nasa tindahan lang.
Inisip kong magpakalasing, makipagtagayan sa barkada, ngunit gaya ng nasabi ko na sa lahat ng senglot na broken hearted gaya ko, mawala man ang amats mo, hindi pa rin mawawala ang problemang dati ratiý sya ang nagdadala.
Gusto kong magpakalasing. Pero gusto ko ring i give up ang boteng minsan sa buhay koý tinuring kong best buddy, bestfriend ika nga.
Ngunit, hindi ko kakayaning mawala sa sistema ko ang isang bagay na naging bisyo ko na, na halos kilala ang buo kong pagkatao, na nakikinig sa mga kabaliwan ko. Sinasabi ng lahat na iwasan ko na, pero hindi pa rin kaya ng sistema kong mawala.
Nilasing ako...at nalasing.
Gusto kong maramdaman na magmanhid ang mga palad ko, habang namumutla akong nakikipagunahan sa isa pang shot na darating sa akin. Gusto ko magfeeling lasing, na kunyariý hindi alam ang nangyari, pero gumugulong na sa isip ang susunod na kabanata. Na sa ganon ay wala na kong maramdamang sakit.
Gusto kitang lasingin. Hindi para gahasain at pagsamantalahan, ngunit para makalimutan mo rin lahat ng sakit na idinulot ko.
Habang ikaý bangag at ginugupo ng kalasingan, sasaluhin ko na lang ang tagay na dapat sana ay saýo. Gusto kong iparamdam sa yo na ang isang tomador, matapang man sya sa lahat ng inuman, gimikan at awayan, sa isang bandaý gagapang din sya sa kalasingang minsan ay hindi nya pinangarap na mangyayari..pero nangyari.
Shat na!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
loving you
Loving you
Is easy because you're beautiful....
Making love with you
Is all I want to do....
Loving you
Is more than just a dream come true....
And everything that I do
Is out of loving you....
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring....
Stay with me while we grow old....
And we will live each day in spring time....
Because loving you....
Has made my life so beautiful....
And every day of my life
Is filled with loving you....
Loving you....
I see your soul come shining through....
And everytime that we....
Oh I'm more in love with you....
Sunday, June 6, 2010
too much excitement
…And another chapter of my life has been done. Uhhh, was that a complete chapter? Lemme say, a part of me was completed unexpectedly as I finished my oh-so late dinner at where else but McDonald’s Valero J -- this time finishing my 6-pc Mc Nuggets meal without regret, and it was like I am asking for more.
Unexpectedly, I was again connected to the Internet, BUUTTTT, for a lil less than 10 seconds-literally!. It’s nearly 3am and it’s not practical to have my dinner at Starbucks. And that’s why I’m blogging once again. (winky)
I don't look I am excited, it's more of nagulat factor :P and me, wearing my jejemon shirt!
Hmm, I’m not sure what to write but I think I’ll write what I’m excited on what will happen after my sought-after resignation, that will happen in exactly two weeks from now. Excited, but a bit upset, since I will be leaving office, my oh-so good friends who were deaf hearing my overrated love stories, whom I cried and make sumbong with and who I shared those happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts moment over too many buckets and cigarette butts.
Yes, I’m leaving my call center life and work independently as a site moderator, blogger and programmer while seeking adventures over WI-FI signals and coffee wherever it’s available. I’m excited, thinking about sleeping whenever I want to, not thinking about being late for the day, for those time that I will not be chased by dogs at wee hours and for taking more vacation leaves whenever I want to, best of all, I will not get any memos at all. J
Though I will miss my friends and those people that I’m eyeing, watching my crush/es pass by, I can just simply visit them on a one-text away mode.
It’s a good thing I finished the crying moments—and smiling now as requested by that dear someone(you know who you are ;)), I am more than excited to be with Amber anytime that she requested me to come home and buy those toys that she likes. Weehheee!! I’m excited to make some and enjoy some with those people that give me importance.
Moreover, I’ll start writing a book and have it published internationally with JUICYPEANUT. Darn! How can I get lucky that that huh?! There’s still life other than call center, which I served for like 10 years, and I have no regrets since it builds me for what I am today.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
dear someone
We've come to a point where ending is the only start of beginning something new. I think it's a matter of saying goodbye. It was a hurtful moment to see you crying while I am hiding on my own camera shedding what is supposed to be shared in the future. I cried like an ocean--like every movie I watched, that others thought it was funny to cry with.
It was an easy desicion to just forget everything and start anew. Yes, you don't deserve me. And I don't deserve the heart and heartbreaks. I will leave everything behind and start on a numb mode me again.
I've known you for years and your eyes are telling me that you are not happy and it wasn't easy but you still chose to leave everything behind.
It's another moment of misery, but everything will pass in time. I hope you'll find someone better than this. I thought you promised, with the darkened, burned cigs that I don't think your wallet is holding..I think we need to have it broken.
You'll be a part of my habit, and I'm throwing, deleting everything away and move on...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
tiring day
Since I arrived home yesterday earlier than the usual, no traffic at all, I went ahead and work, only to find out that I will just be stressing myself on the phone and YM talking to someone. That was the last misery I promised myself, that I will ever experience and I won't let anyone to do the same.
I have found myself fixing at around 10 pm, preparing to have another WI-FI sessions somewhere(hadn't planned for anywhere to spend the night). I was riding a bus last night and I heard a very familiar song playing on the background--that is our freakin OA theme song! arrrgh! I couldn't hide shedding tears while on the public transport, remembering those lines --- "...hinahati ko ang time ko sa yo at sa kanila(friends)"
..."hindi sila ganun kadaling iwan..."
I am very familiar with breaking up with someone while having a third party relationship. O yeah, that was third party/ies... I cannot compete with friends.
I went ahead and walked to coffee bean but changed my mind seeing someone wearing a Davao shirt. I crossed the street and started walking to, once again, McDonald's.
I was on the lane and asked the crew if the WI-FI is on. She said it's down for maintenance--for the nth time. I asked another crew from the counter, near the store manager so she could hear me, if I can go online, and this time, she said, the WI-FI is on. I continued with my order, which I anticipated I wouldn't finish because of this planned hunger strike.
my diet for the night
I was connected to the server, howerver, I couldn't connect to the internet. Sinasabi ko na nga ba! So I opted eating my 6-pc super kunat na nuggets, when someone called "Meeeeeeeed" Huh??! I rushed eating and packed my laptop and walked to Starbucks. Phew, I ordered a small cup of half and half since I was still full at that time. While I was taking upstairs, there are coupla law students from Lyceum doing a group study, crowding the place. I tried concentrating but I think last night was the most unlikely, unlucky night that I could get.
...calculators, piled math books and totally the same finding Nemo print on a shirt!
I was getting very lucky!! I left the place, really frustrated. I went to Seattle's Best, checked if there were some signs that I could avoid -- none. I started unpacking my laptop, once again, and smoked...when my phone rang.
Shit happens and it just happened to me. I went to the counter and ordered a cold frappe and started working.
Mocha Javakula to keep me awake
And I tortured myself by continously talking, and finishing everything. I couldn't explain how hurt I was but I didn't really care if the guard kept looking at me while shedding tears. That might be the last teardrop for the night. I am tired.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
non-friendly WIFI spot
The other night, I stopped at McDonald's Valero again to connect to the internet, hoping that the WIFI is up at that time. Good thing it was. I didn't order at once, looked for the manager and asked if the WI-FI is working. Lo and behold, it was.
I starved myself from being home at 3:30 in the afternoon, went out to have my glasses fixed and had my nails done and ate 4 pcs. of Master Siomai. I tried to sleep, gosh I tried, after watching coupla episodes of Diva from the internet, facebooking and chatting with *toot* and oh, I really couldn't get my eyes closed at 6pm!
I woke up at 10 in the evening(I didn't even know if I really fell asleep long) and fixed myself, sweating because of the everlasting sauna fever at home and outside.
I was thinking about having Starbucks as my first stop but darn, my 29 year old anaconda in my belly was shouting heavily that it was really on a hunger strike.
now a 1 pc fried chicken meal, I didn't even bother to start my laptop first :P
I turned my laptop on while eating and started enjoying their super fast WI-FI. It's really fast that I could multi-task forever..
Enjoying too much wasn't enough. I asked a crew if they have power outlets when I noticed that my battery is half full. I was really amazed to find out that they don't. This is so so not friendly spot.
I have been wi-fiing since then to other hot spots that offer free service and they have power outlets. This time, my work plans won't work anymore because anytime my battery will go dead.
phew... too much rants for the day. Best things in life are free they say, but being an expected commenter, overly-abusive and a freakin customer like me, free services have a catch.. this time, I was caught with an hour worklog for the week to complete it. (angry sweep)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
im f'd up or mcdo wi-fi was?
I decided to start working today wherever I found WIFI signal, unfortunately my first stop wasn’t that successful. I was here in McDonald’s Valero, no internet access due to internet signal failure. Heyyy lowww!!! I learned this after ordering medium-sized French fries, 6 pieces nuggets and a medium coke, now, how can I leave the place with this anti-diet gastro food?
here’s my diet, watch me as I gain more weight every night, ok?
After my homework logged for about an hour, I slept until 11pm(with matching tawad pa twice since I set the alarm at 10 :P). It is really a fucked up schedule since it changes every two weeks. And yeah, my shift this week is as early as 3:15 am and I freakin woke up at around 11pm. You asked me why would I wake up at 11 when my shift is at 3? Tell me about it, strayed dogs are chasing me all night. I’ll take a picture of chasing dogs when I get my camera repaired(and yes, I’ll try to leave home at wee hours like 1am or so and be chased).
Now my decision of continuing to work here in Mc Donald’s is messed up. I NEED INTERNET ACCESS!. And right now, I’m killing time, sleepy eating my at-this-time 3 pcs. Nuggets, and half fries and no-more ice matabang na coke, while listening to my mp3 with my orange bug headset. I am totally fucked up because of this. And I am wondering about the 3 hour-training later, I will definitely sleep.
It looks like that my blog will be alive once again if there will be no internet access and share my food trip with everyone.
Monday, May 3, 2010
checklist
Onset of the year, I have updated this blog with an overrated 2010 resolution. Let's find out if it happened, or it was achieved...Let me copy the resolution I have written few months back..
1. I will be filing a resignation when I came back from vacation. Hopefully before I do that, I already have found a better job that will not discriminate rights.
2. I will be fixing my finances. It is hard to move within a budget, thinking some bills and some responsibilities without anything on my pocket. But I need to start thinking how I could earn more than the usual. I am afraid of losing a lot this year, job, my crib, my almost broken phone, my internet connection..but I am still hopeful I can get a remedy for it.
3. I am anticipating of celebrating my birthday quietly. Like I said, I would need to think about some financial responsibilities first before thinking about myself more. And I hope by next month, everything will turn into normal.
4. I will be in Davao by vacation. I don't plan for any travel this year. But I don't think a travel to one destination isn't bad at all.
5. Amber will celebrate her 7th birthday this year, so I need to plan for her birthday. ;)
Let's take a review one by one....
1. I will be filing a resignation when I came back from vacation. Hopefully before I do that, I already have found a better job that will not discriminate rights.
hmmm, I filed a resignation after my vacation. It was unexpected but time made it happened. I found a better job/s..which I also learned that call center isn't the end job at all. A stepping stone for many? yes it is. the training, the people and the concept behind it, helped me achieved who I am now. I can now decide freely, choose whichever job and whatever time I want to work. Now I am ready to leave the call center industry and start my freelance homework anytime =)
2. I will be fixing my finances. It is hard to move within a budget, thinking some bills and some responsibilities without anything on my pocket. But I need to start thinking how I could earn more than the usual. I am afraid of losing a lot this year, job, my crib, my almost broken phone, my internet connection..but I am still hopeful I can get a remedy for it.
I never thought that after the financial crisis that hit the stockmarket, I was left shocked sipping my starbucks coffee that I thought I will replace with 3-in-1 Nescafe from then. I never did imagine that I could find a reliable buyer at times that I am almost totally broke. Now, finances are fixed. I can move without the budget and I am free of any financial responsibilities.
3. I am anticipating of celebrating my birthday quietly. Like I said, I would need to think about some financial responsibilities first before thinking about myself more. And I hope by next month, everything will turn into normal.
uhmmm, how did i celebrate my birthday again??? any thoughts? nakalimutan ko na ata. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I had an ice cream blast in 24/7 with co-workers. Simple, yet fun!
4. I will be in Davao by vacation. I don't plan for any travel this year. But I don't think a travel to one destination isn't bad at all.
Yes it recently happened. Things usually happened when unplanned. I had a blast ;)
5. Amber will celebrate her 7th birthday this year, so I need to plan for her birthday. ;)
This will be reserved for November. I think I'll start planning it after the enrollment.
Whew. I am loving my list. It is almost finished and I probly think of some other plans to work out with.. oh yes, work out! (wink)
Saturday, March 6, 2010
lies
As if I was feeling betrayed all the time or something, until someone made me realized one thing, I am not happy anymore.
But why does it hurt? Do I miss the person really? or do I miss the habit of talking to someone when I'm at home? I think I'll take the second one as the answer.
I have lied a lot about everything, missed everything that needs to be said and done. I could see the future in my dream..just in my dreams. but suddenly it hits me. She will never change. she said sorry bluntly but never did make any changes at all.
I can go on with my life, just like the old times. I have experienced a lot pain than this. I just missed the fact that somehow, someone made me laugh, cry and share all my negatives.
She knew me too well. That's why it's hard to regain my original me...not someone I pretended for the past year.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
something new.
i was shocked by the news i heard and wasn't really on my senses while taking a jeep going home. i was like betrayed by someone i trusted. again, trust is very common to me. i didn't care about the heat of the sun that made me perspire underneath. i just want to go home.
kanina, i was starving, after the walang kamatayang take out chicken meal from Jollibee on my first break, i was thinking of eating again.. then finding some time to realize that I need to lose weight, but then again, I was on the start line of depression, I wasn't feeling any hunger at all.
I rode a tricycle thinking about the endless years of working with different companies around, spending months, years and my life with people addicted to taking calls and making sure that numbers are achieved. It stopped when someone said, "Para po sa tabi." Bumaba na rin ako.
I went inside Ministop and headed towards one direction. I need to drink. I grabbed a bottle of Red Horse, still thinking how many bottles should I get. I can drink 5 bottles of 500ml amber colored-bottled drink yet, wala akong yelo sa bahay, so I just grabbed one and bought a pack of cigarettes. NO LUNCH.
I went inside my crib. It's the same old dirty place with my jackets and laptop bags on my blue couch, dirty laundry on the table and my resting haven. I opened my laptop as I lit one cigarette and puffed until I lit another cigs til I got 3 sticks at a time. I opened my favorite drink.
Then I saw honey went online. I couldn't talk anything about what had happened but then again I realized, whatever happens, she will be at my side all the time. Then my undeniably teary eyes just dropped. It contained depression, anger and emotions I couldn't control.
She was just there -- listening to my drama and didn't blame me at all. Then we realized we need to laugh. She made me smile. :)
I rallied by finishing off my beer and realized I got tired of crying, my chinky eyes went big this time.
And just when I thought that depression can kill me, honey gave me a better remedy that for the first time, we did it together. How? I don't really know. I will not give details of the kinky days (recorded: JANUARY 4-5, 2010) and like with other people say, start the new year with a bang! ;) o yeah baby, with a bang ;)).
It was a nice remedy than any medicine can give. I think Med will just make my day all the time :)
Monday, January 4, 2010
2010 resolution
I got a bad news from my boss that I befriended for months that maybe, maybe a reason on how to start my new year. I still had a day to think it over by not coming into work last night and spent it over at my crib. Have I thought of anything yet? uhhh. I am still hopeful. So I guess by getting a list of what to do and what needs to be done must be a start.
1. I will be filing a resignation when I came back from vacation. Hopefully before I do that, I already have found a better job that will not discriminate rights.
2. I will be fixing my finances. It is hard to move within a budget, thinking some bills and some responsibilities without anything on my pocket. But I need to start thinking how I could earn more than the usual. I am afraid of losing a lot this year, job, my crib, my almost broken phone, my internet connection..but I am still hopeful I can get a remedy for it.
3. I am anticipating of celebrating my birthday quietly. Like I said, I would need to think about some financial responsibilities first before thinking about myself more. And I hope by next month, everything will turn into normal.
4. I will be in Davao by vacation. I don't plan for any travel this year. But I don't think a travel to one destination isn't bad at all.
5. Amber will celebrate her 7th birthday this year, so I need to plan for her birthday. ;)
...end of the list. I have too many plans but I don't want to fill another 5 resolution without making sure that my top 5 list isn't achieved.
looking back
...and i didn't blog a lot last year. and was looking forward to blog more this year.
I just want to look back if something happened or something I missed last 2009 and make sure to fill it in this year.
1. I have 2 employers that I worked and been working. WEST and HSBC. had a normal working hours but not earning night differential ;) result: resigned.
2. travelled 3 times locally on the same province and 3 times abroad. what happened when you see part of the Bicolandia when you didn't see Mayon Volcano??? Geez!!!
3. I got an internet connection at my crib(yet, I didn't blog pa rin) which connects me to ex's and my future NEO :))
4. Well I found NEO this time. At the beginning of the year, I met her, however, for some reason, we broke up. --- got a lot of dates and flings and experiences that made me, I think... something nonesense. When I thought I met the right NEO, I tried to adjust...with the age differences, I think I am too smart to handle. At the last part of the year, I think I found NEO --- someone I found at the beginning of the year and ended up with her for the rest of my life. way too cool ;)
5. I found myself withdrawing from bank account to bank account and checking to see if I gained or not. RESULT: NOT. stocks went down and been crazy for months and at the end of the year, I was told that 500k is not something reachable at this time.
6. still forgetful. do I need to be reminded? I don't know. But some things I didnt remember anymore or I was just trying to forget na talaga.
7. was hospitalized by overreacting nurses at HSBC. I could work but they didnt allow me. went to Asian Hospital with Ces accompanying me. then got 2 approved rest days by the doctor and the fuckin HSBC gave me a memo when I got back to work. So humane huh!
8. 3 pay periods before the end of the year, I was getting an enormous tax deductions. I don't know how the suckers work but I need a better explanation for this. I think I need an attorney to fix it.
9. I have celebrated all saint's day with my family and christmas eve. Unfortunately, I wasnt able to join them this new year's eve. :(
10. I don't think I was productive last year. But I guess I need to think over and revise something for the next year...
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