It's nice if you found a new home, eh?
And I found one. Blogging wise, I've learned a lot. From a novice blogger, to, I can say a learner.. I am learning a lot. This is always home but I will stop blogging from this nest and start my way of building something more useful.
Follow me here: WAi PAi.
To my few blog readers, I'll see you on my new home. :)
Cheers!
Showing posts with label my mind says.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label my mind says.... Show all posts
Monday, October 4, 2010
Moving
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Lasing
"Alak pa!" madalas na bukambibig ko.
Hindi pa man natatapos ang klase ko, napapaginipan ko na ang alak. Iniisip ko kung ilang bote na naman ang mapapatumba ko habang nakikipaginuman sa 6 na lalakeng barkada ko.
Tubig at Gin bulag lang, ok na sa kin. Hindi ko naisip ang epekto no`n. Ang alam ko lang, masaya kong nakikitang unti unting gumagapang na ang mga kasama ko at akoý patuloy pa ring tumutungga.
Hanggang sa nagkatrabaho ako at nabarkadang muli. San Mig Light na, may sweldo na ako e. Pero hindi nasanay ang bahay alak ko sa isang nakakabagot at walang kalasa lasang beer. Ang alam ko lang baybayin ay ang makasunog bitukang hard drinks.
Hindi ako lasing habang sinusulat ko ito. Naalala ko lamang kung paanong ang bisyong halos araw araw kong pinagkakaabalahan ay unti-unti ng nawawala, at mawawala sa aking sistema.
Kung paanong ang bisyong ito ay mahirap kalimutan, ngunit mahirap gawin, ay isang bagay na kailangan ko sa tuwing naaalala ko ang lahat ng masasakit na nangyari, at kung paano ko saktan ang isang taong mahalagang mahalaga sa akin.
Naramdaman kong halos gumuhit sa aking lalamunan ang malamig na malamig na bote ng beer habang nakikipagtagisan ang aking utak sa mga alaala ng isang taong dati ay ako lang ang mahal.
Hindi ko naisip na ganon ko sya nasaktan, na ganoon pala ang sakit na ibinigay ko sa kanya. Lahat ng iyon, binalewala ko dahil alam kong nadyan lang sya para sa akin, gaya ng isang bote ng alak na nasa tindahan lang.
Inisip kong magpakalasing, makipagtagayan sa barkada, ngunit gaya ng nasabi ko na sa lahat ng senglot na broken hearted gaya ko, mawala man ang amats mo, hindi pa rin mawawala ang problemang dati ratiý sya ang nagdadala.
Gusto kong magpakalasing. Pero gusto ko ring i give up ang boteng minsan sa buhay koý tinuring kong best buddy, bestfriend ika nga.
Ngunit, hindi ko kakayaning mawala sa sistema ko ang isang bagay na naging bisyo ko na, na halos kilala ang buo kong pagkatao, na nakikinig sa mga kabaliwan ko. Sinasabi ng lahat na iwasan ko na, pero hindi pa rin kaya ng sistema kong mawala.
Nilasing ako...at nalasing.
Gusto kong maramdaman na magmanhid ang mga palad ko, habang namumutla akong nakikipagunahan sa isa pang shot na darating sa akin. Gusto ko magfeeling lasing, na kunyariý hindi alam ang nangyari, pero gumugulong na sa isip ang susunod na kabanata. Na sa ganon ay wala na kong maramdamang sakit.
Gusto kitang lasingin. Hindi para gahasain at pagsamantalahan, ngunit para makalimutan mo rin lahat ng sakit na idinulot ko.
Habang ikaý bangag at ginugupo ng kalasingan, sasaluhin ko na lang ang tagay na dapat sana ay saýo. Gusto kong iparamdam sa yo na ang isang tomador, matapang man sya sa lahat ng inuman, gimikan at awayan, sa isang bandaý gagapang din sya sa kalasingang minsan ay hindi nya pinangarap na mangyayari..pero nangyari.
Shat na!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
too much excitement
…And another chapter of my life has been done. Uhhh, was that a complete chapter? Lemme say, a part of me was completed unexpectedly as I finished my oh-so late dinner at where else but McDonald’s Valero J -- this time finishing my 6-pc Mc Nuggets meal without regret, and it was like I am asking for more.
Unexpectedly, I was again connected to the Internet, BUUTTTT, for a lil less than 10 seconds-literally!. It’s nearly 3am and it’s not practical to have my dinner at Starbucks. And that’s why I’m blogging once again. (winky)
I don't look I am excited, it's more of nagulat factor :P and me, wearing my jejemon shirt!
Hmm, I’m not sure what to write but I think I’ll write what I’m excited on what will happen after my sought-after resignation, that will happen in exactly two weeks from now. Excited, but a bit upset, since I will be leaving office, my oh-so good friends who were deaf hearing my overrated love stories, whom I cried and make sumbong with and who I shared those happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts moment over too many buckets and cigarette butts.
Yes, I’m leaving my call center life and work independently as a site moderator, blogger and programmer while seeking adventures over WI-FI signals and coffee wherever it’s available. I’m excited, thinking about sleeping whenever I want to, not thinking about being late for the day, for those time that I will not be chased by dogs at wee hours and for taking more vacation leaves whenever I want to, best of all, I will not get any memos at all. J
Though I will miss my friends and those people that I’m eyeing, watching my crush/es pass by, I can just simply visit them on a one-text away mode.
It’s a good thing I finished the crying moments—and smiling now as requested by that dear someone(you know who you are ;)), I am more than excited to be with Amber anytime that she requested me to come home and buy those toys that she likes. Weehheee!! I’m excited to make some and enjoy some with those people that give me importance.
Moreover, I’ll start writing a book and have it published internationally with JUICYPEANUT. Darn! How can I get lucky that that huh?! There’s still life other than call center, which I served for like 10 years, and I have no regrets since it builds me for what I am today.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
dear someone
We've come to a point where ending is the only start of beginning something new. I think it's a matter of saying goodbye. It was a hurtful moment to see you crying while I am hiding on my own camera shedding what is supposed to be shared in the future. I cried like an ocean--like every movie I watched, that others thought it was funny to cry with.
It was an easy desicion to just forget everything and start anew. Yes, you don't deserve me. And I don't deserve the heart and heartbreaks. I will leave everything behind and start on a numb mode me again.
I've known you for years and your eyes are telling me that you are not happy and it wasn't easy but you still chose to leave everything behind.
It's another moment of misery, but everything will pass in time. I hope you'll find someone better than this. I thought you promised, with the darkened, burned cigs that I don't think your wallet is holding..I think we need to have it broken.
You'll be a part of my habit, and I'm throwing, deleting everything away and move on...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
tiring day
Since I arrived home yesterday earlier than the usual, no traffic at all, I went ahead and work, only to find out that I will just be stressing myself on the phone and YM talking to someone. That was the last misery I promised myself, that I will ever experience and I won't let anyone to do the same.
I have found myself fixing at around 10 pm, preparing to have another WI-FI sessions somewhere(hadn't planned for anywhere to spend the night). I was riding a bus last night and I heard a very familiar song playing on the background--that is our freakin OA theme song! arrrgh! I couldn't hide shedding tears while on the public transport, remembering those lines --- "...hinahati ko ang time ko sa yo at sa kanila(friends)"
..."hindi sila ganun kadaling iwan..."
I am very familiar with breaking up with someone while having a third party relationship. O yeah, that was third party/ies... I cannot compete with friends.
I went ahead and walked to coffee bean but changed my mind seeing someone wearing a Davao shirt. I crossed the street and started walking to, once again, McDonald's.
I was on the lane and asked the crew if the WI-FI is on. She said it's down for maintenance--for the nth time. I asked another crew from the counter, near the store manager so she could hear me, if I can go online, and this time, she said, the WI-FI is on. I continued with my order, which I anticipated I wouldn't finish because of this planned hunger strike.
my diet for the night
I was connected to the server, howerver, I couldn't connect to the internet. Sinasabi ko na nga ba! So I opted eating my 6-pc super kunat na nuggets, when someone called "Meeeeeeeed" Huh??! I rushed eating and packed my laptop and walked to Starbucks. Phew, I ordered a small cup of half and half since I was still full at that time. While I was taking upstairs, there are coupla law students from Lyceum doing a group study, crowding the place. I tried concentrating but I think last night was the most unlikely, unlucky night that I could get.
...calculators, piled math books and totally the same finding Nemo print on a shirt!
I was getting very lucky!! I left the place, really frustrated. I went to Seattle's Best, checked if there were some signs that I could avoid -- none. I started unpacking my laptop, once again, and smoked...when my phone rang.
Shit happens and it just happened to me. I went to the counter and ordered a cold frappe and started working.
Mocha Javakula to keep me awake
And I tortured myself by continously talking, and finishing everything. I couldn't explain how hurt I was but I didn't really care if the guard kept looking at me while shedding tears. That might be the last teardrop for the night. I am tired.
Monday, May 3, 2010
checklist
Onset of the year, I have updated this blog with an overrated 2010 resolution. Let's find out if it happened, or it was achieved...Let me copy the resolution I have written few months back..
1. I will be filing a resignation when I came back from vacation. Hopefully before I do that, I already have found a better job that will not discriminate rights.
2. I will be fixing my finances. It is hard to move within a budget, thinking some bills and some responsibilities without anything on my pocket. But I need to start thinking how I could earn more than the usual. I am afraid of losing a lot this year, job, my crib, my almost broken phone, my internet connection..but I am still hopeful I can get a remedy for it.
3. I am anticipating of celebrating my birthday quietly. Like I said, I would need to think about some financial responsibilities first before thinking about myself more. And I hope by next month, everything will turn into normal.
4. I will be in Davao by vacation. I don't plan for any travel this year. But I don't think a travel to one destination isn't bad at all.
5. Amber will celebrate her 7th birthday this year, so I need to plan for her birthday. ;)
Let's take a review one by one....
1. I will be filing a resignation when I came back from vacation. Hopefully before I do that, I already have found a better job that will not discriminate rights.
hmmm, I filed a resignation after my vacation. It was unexpected but time made it happened. I found a better job/s..which I also learned that call center isn't the end job at all. A stepping stone for many? yes it is. the training, the people and the concept behind it, helped me achieved who I am now. I can now decide freely, choose whichever job and whatever time I want to work. Now I am ready to leave the call center industry and start my freelance homework anytime =)
2. I will be fixing my finances. It is hard to move within a budget, thinking some bills and some responsibilities without anything on my pocket. But I need to start thinking how I could earn more than the usual. I am afraid of losing a lot this year, job, my crib, my almost broken phone, my internet connection..but I am still hopeful I can get a remedy for it.
I never thought that after the financial crisis that hit the stockmarket, I was left shocked sipping my starbucks coffee that I thought I will replace with 3-in-1 Nescafe from then. I never did imagine that I could find a reliable buyer at times that I am almost totally broke. Now, finances are fixed. I can move without the budget and I am free of any financial responsibilities.
3. I am anticipating of celebrating my birthday quietly. Like I said, I would need to think about some financial responsibilities first before thinking about myself more. And I hope by next month, everything will turn into normal.
uhmmm, how did i celebrate my birthday again??? any thoughts? nakalimutan ko na ata. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I had an ice cream blast in 24/7 with co-workers. Simple, yet fun!
4. I will be in Davao by vacation. I don't plan for any travel this year. But I don't think a travel to one destination isn't bad at all.
Yes it recently happened. Things usually happened when unplanned. I had a blast ;)
5. Amber will celebrate her 7th birthday this year, so I need to plan for her birthday. ;)
This will be reserved for November. I think I'll start planning it after the enrollment.
Whew. I am loving my list. It is almost finished and I probly think of some other plans to work out with.. oh yes, work out! (wink)
Saturday, March 6, 2010
lies
As if I was feeling betrayed all the time or something, until someone made me realized one thing, I am not happy anymore.
But why does it hurt? Do I miss the person really? or do I miss the habit of talking to someone when I'm at home? I think I'll take the second one as the answer.
I have lied a lot about everything, missed everything that needs to be said and done. I could see the future in my dream..just in my dreams. but suddenly it hits me. She will never change. she said sorry bluntly but never did make any changes at all.
I can go on with my life, just like the old times. I have experienced a lot pain than this. I just missed the fact that somehow, someone made me laugh, cry and share all my negatives.
She knew me too well. That's why it's hard to regain my original me...not someone I pretended for the past year.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
something new.
i was shocked by the news i heard and wasn't really on my senses while taking a jeep going home. i was like betrayed by someone i trusted. again, trust is very common to me. i didn't care about the heat of the sun that made me perspire underneath. i just want to go home.
kanina, i was starving, after the walang kamatayang take out chicken meal from Jollibee on my first break, i was thinking of eating again.. then finding some time to realize that I need to lose weight, but then again, I was on the start line of depression, I wasn't feeling any hunger at all.
I rode a tricycle thinking about the endless years of working with different companies around, spending months, years and my life with people addicted to taking calls and making sure that numbers are achieved. It stopped when someone said, "Para po sa tabi." Bumaba na rin ako.
I went inside Ministop and headed towards one direction. I need to drink. I grabbed a bottle of Red Horse, still thinking how many bottles should I get. I can drink 5 bottles of 500ml amber colored-bottled drink yet, wala akong yelo sa bahay, so I just grabbed one and bought a pack of cigarettes. NO LUNCH.
I went inside my crib. It's the same old dirty place with my jackets and laptop bags on my blue couch, dirty laundry on the table and my resting haven. I opened my laptop as I lit one cigarette and puffed until I lit another cigs til I got 3 sticks at a time. I opened my favorite drink.
Then I saw honey went online. I couldn't talk anything about what had happened but then again I realized, whatever happens, she will be at my side all the time. Then my undeniably teary eyes just dropped. It contained depression, anger and emotions I couldn't control.
She was just there -- listening to my drama and didn't blame me at all. Then we realized we need to laugh. She made me smile. :)
I rallied by finishing off my beer and realized I got tired of crying, my chinky eyes went big this time.
And just when I thought that depression can kill me, honey gave me a better remedy that for the first time, we did it together. How? I don't really know. I will not give details of the kinky days (recorded: JANUARY 4-5, 2010) and like with other people say, start the new year with a bang! ;) o yeah baby, with a bang ;)).
It was a nice remedy than any medicine can give. I think Med will just make my day all the time :)
Monday, January 4, 2010
2010 resolution
I got a bad news from my boss that I befriended for months that maybe, maybe a reason on how to start my new year. I still had a day to think it over by not coming into work last night and spent it over at my crib. Have I thought of anything yet? uhhh. I am still hopeful. So I guess by getting a list of what to do and what needs to be done must be a start.
1. I will be filing a resignation when I came back from vacation. Hopefully before I do that, I already have found a better job that will not discriminate rights.
2. I will be fixing my finances. It is hard to move within a budget, thinking some bills and some responsibilities without anything on my pocket. But I need to start thinking how I could earn more than the usual. I am afraid of losing a lot this year, job, my crib, my almost broken phone, my internet connection..but I am still hopeful I can get a remedy for it.
3. I am anticipating of celebrating my birthday quietly. Like I said, I would need to think about some financial responsibilities first before thinking about myself more. And I hope by next month, everything will turn into normal.
4. I will be in Davao by vacation. I don't plan for any travel this year. But I don't think a travel to one destination isn't bad at all.
5. Amber will celebrate her 7th birthday this year, so I need to plan for her birthday. ;)
...end of the list. I have too many plans but I don't want to fill another 5 resolution without making sure that my top 5 list isn't achieved.
looking back
...and i didn't blog a lot last year. and was looking forward to blog more this year.
I just want to look back if something happened or something I missed last 2009 and make sure to fill it in this year.
1. I have 2 employers that I worked and been working. WEST and HSBC. had a normal working hours but not earning night differential ;) result: resigned.
2. travelled 3 times locally on the same province and 3 times abroad. what happened when you see part of the Bicolandia when you didn't see Mayon Volcano??? Geez!!!
3. I got an internet connection at my crib(yet, I didn't blog pa rin) which connects me to ex's and my future NEO :))
4. Well I found NEO this time. At the beginning of the year, I met her, however, for some reason, we broke up. --- got a lot of dates and flings and experiences that made me, I think... something nonesense. When I thought I met the right NEO, I tried to adjust...with the age differences, I think I am too smart to handle. At the last part of the year, I think I found NEO --- someone I found at the beginning of the year and ended up with her for the rest of my life. way too cool ;)
5. I found myself withdrawing from bank account to bank account and checking to see if I gained or not. RESULT: NOT. stocks went down and been crazy for months and at the end of the year, I was told that 500k is not something reachable at this time.
6. still forgetful. do I need to be reminded? I don't know. But some things I didnt remember anymore or I was just trying to forget na talaga.
7. was hospitalized by overreacting nurses at HSBC. I could work but they didnt allow me. went to Asian Hospital with Ces accompanying me. then got 2 approved rest days by the doctor and the fuckin HSBC gave me a memo when I got back to work. So humane huh!
8. 3 pay periods before the end of the year, I was getting an enormous tax deductions. I don't know how the suckers work but I need a better explanation for this. I think I need an attorney to fix it.
9. I have celebrated all saint's day with my family and christmas eve. Unfortunately, I wasnt able to join them this new year's eve. :(
10. I don't think I was productive last year. But I guess I need to think over and revise something for the next year...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Random Thoughts
...nung nakaraang Linggo, lahat ng tao nakadilaw. may nakaitim, pero mas maraming nakadilaw. paboritong kulay? hindi. libing daw ni Cory. orange kaya ang paborito kong kulay. pero may ibig sabihin pala ang dilaw... may mamamatay.
...masarap mabasa lahat ng nasa archives ng yahoo messenger, na nanggaling sa iisang taong sa loob ng isang buwan at anim na araw ay naging bahagi ng makulay na kulay ni Bebang. nakakatuwa. nakakakilig. pero uuwi rin pala sa pag iyak.
...nitong weekend, hindi na sana ako natulog. kinausap ko na sana siya. kahit alam kong busy siya. sana kinulit ko. kung alam ko lang na mawawala pala sa kin ang isang napakahalagang pangyayaring aalalahanin ko na lang sa mga susunod na araw...at makakalimutan rin.
...bakit ako magsisinungaling? kung alam ko naman na may taong animo'y namatayan sa tahimik nyang pagiyak. bakit ayaw lumabas ng luha? bakit bigla na lang lalabas ng kusa? bakit one way? bakit walang umalala? balewala? OO
...marami na kong minahal. marami na kong sinuway, pero mahal ko pa rin. marami na akong isinakripisyo. yung tipong hindi ko na lang sana sila nakilala. para hindi masakit. pero walang nakakita. walang nakaramdam. nakainom ata ng pangpamanhid.
..,bakit mo ko binalewala? sabi ko wag mo ko iwan? sabi ko ipaalam mo lang ok na ako? ayaw ko mang isumbat. pero sa lahat ng effort ko, sa lahat ng panahong inukol ko at kalimutang saglit ang trabaho, ang oras na kailangan lang kitang tawagan, ang mga panahong malayo ako kay amber para makasama lang kita...bakit nawala ka sa kin? bakit pinagpalit mo sya sa akin?
...batukan kaya kita? sa anim na taon...ano naman ang laban ng isang buwan at anim na araw? walang binatbat. hindi ako maaalala. kahit ano pa ang gawin ko.
...napatunayan ko pa rin kung ano ang kaya kong ibigay pagdating sa isang relasyon. naglaro man ako sa iba, pero pag naneryoso ako, sayong sayo buong pagkatao ko...ng walang hinihinging kapalit.
...basta buhay ka, gawin mo man lahat ng hindi ko gusto. basta buhay ka. ok na ako. masaya akong malaman na buhay ka.
...mahal kita. mahal pa rin.. pero bibitaw ako..kakalimutang pilit ang lahat..pati kung paano kita nakilala. aalisin ko ang konting pagkataong nakilala mo na ako. at magmomove on..
...sana kaya ko.. kagaya ng lagi kong sinasabi kapag nakikipaghiwalay ako..o nakikipaghiwalay sila..and this made me a person i am right now.
...thank you
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Puta
Nagbulungan ang mga tao sa paligid nang dumaan ang pamilyar na babae. Akala mong may sakit na halos lumuwang ang daan na ang tanging naglalakad na lamang ay ang babaeng nakasuot ng hapit na kulay pulang damit. Ang sarap panoorin, lalo na at makikita mong napakababa na ng tingin ng lahat, pero mukang proud na proud pa rin sya sa sarili.
Sabi ni mommy, lumayo daw ako sa mga malalandi kong classmates. Dapat daw, puro libro lang ang dapat kong atupagin at hindi yung pakikipagusap sa mga lalaking wala daw ibang gagawin kundi buntisin ako. Inatupag ko naman ang pag-aaral, at tinanim sa utak ko na nakakadiri yung mga taong hindi kayang mabuhay ng walang lalaki sa mundo.
Tumuntong ako ng college at sumali sa fraternity. Hirap o sarap ba? hmmm, hindi ko na naranasan iyon dahil founder ang boyfriend ko sa chapter ng eskwelahang pinasukan ko. Pero nakita ko kung paano gamitin ang mga neophytes ng mga masters nila tuwing hazing. Hindi ko alam kung baboy nga ba o hindi ang nasa harapan ko. Ang alam ko lang, mukang nasasarapan ang mga babaeng ginagamit ng kung sino man habang nakapiring ang mata nila.
Nagsimulang mabarkada ako sa mga lalaki, hanggang sa trip na lang namin magpakalasing araw araw pagkatapos ng klase. May sumama sa aming lalaki na tumapat sa akin at nakikipagflirt. Sa loob loob ko, paano ginagawa ng mga babae ang makakuha ng lalaki sa pamamagitan ng tingin? Bahala na, naisip ko. Kung kayang gawin ng mga pokpok ang ganitong bagay, tingin ko hindi ko kakayanin.
Nagsimula akong magkaroon ng mga flings kada inuman. Pero nasa tamang wisyo pa ako para hindi makipagsex kahit kanino. Ako lang ang gagawa. Bawal akong galawin. Dati-rati'y gumagawa pa ako ng listahan ng mga nakafling ko na umabot na yata ng mahigit tatlumpu.
Hindi naman lahat ng bagay nageenjoy ako. Tinigilan ko rin at nagsimulang magseryoso sa relasyon. Nagkaroon ako ng 3 matitinong boyfriend, at ang huli, naging asawa ko pa. Naisip ko, yung mga pokpok pala pwedeng magsawang magbigay aliw at magsawa na lang sa bandang huli. Marami pa namang magbibigay ng dahilan para maging matino sila.
Masarap maranasan na kahit minsan sa buhay ko, naging gaya rin nila ako. Pero parang drugs lang yan e. Pag nahook ka, maaadik ka na. Pero nasa iyo pa rin ang kontrol sa lahat. Kalimutan yung masarap na past time lang at maging successful sa mga bagay na hindi mo aakalaing sa iyo mapupunta.
Napatanga ako habang tinitignan ko ang oras. Kagigising ko lang katabi babae ko (this time, ayaw ko na ng lalaki). Ginising ko sya sa pamamagitan ng halik. Masakit daw ang lalamunan nya. Naawa naman ako at pinagmumog sya ng asin para kahit paano'y gumaling. Sumeryoso ang mukha nya, sabay tanong sa akin, kelan daw ako huling nakipag sex sa lalaki.
Bumalik lahat ng alaala ko. Kailan nga ba? Kahapon, noong isang araw, noong isang linggo? Sino ba ang huling lalaking gumamit sa akin? Nagpagamit ba ako? Ahhh, biglang nagiba ang dating ako at bumalik sa dating maituturing na isang puta sa tingin ng mga boring na estudyante. Ako ngayon, nasa isang iginagalang na posisyon, tanungin kung kailan ang huling beses akong nakipaglandian sa kama, habang sumasakit ang lalamunan nya, biglang nahilo sa mga nagfflashback sa utak ko.
Nasarapan ba sya? Sabi nya oo daw e. Sa babae o lalaki man, kapag bumaba ka sa partner mo, gagawin mo yun hindi dahil kailangan, kung hindi dahil gusto mong gawin. Feeling ko ilang libong mikrobyo meron ako na parang isang puta na pinandidirihan ng lahat. Nakikita ko tuloy ang sarili ko sa babaeng kekendeng kendeng sa kalye na kanina ko pa tinitignan.
Ahhh, hindi lahat ng pokpok puta, at hindi lahat ng puta, pokpok. Pero ano man sila, sa tingin ko, mabibigyan lang ng kahulugan ang isang tao, kapag ang respetong laging hinihingi sa yo ay kayang tumbasan hindi lamang ng respeto bilang girlfriend kung hindi ang tiwalang hindi mapapalitan ng kahit anong pangyayaring dinaanan gaya ng isang putang maraming karanasan.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Pangarap Lang ;)
RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5.Put this on your journal.
1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
bounce - Timbaland with Dr. Dre and Missy Elliot (har har)
2.How would you describe yourself?
Hear Me Now - Boyce Avenue (hala, weren't u lis`ning?)
3.What do you like in a girl?
Umbrella (:P) Rhianna
4.How do you feel today?
Welcome to the Black Parade(o fuck! Am I talking to the a-holes???)
5.What is your life's purpose?
I wish I knew How it feel to be free - Lighthouse Family (OMG, soo true)
6.What is your motto?
I'm Sorry - Moonstar88 (say what???!)
7.What do your friends think of you?
Beautiful Girl s- Sean Kingston (har har, tangna, totoo nga!) wink wink
8.What do you think of your parents?
Place of my heart - American Idol (for real man!)
9.What do you think about very often?
Mysterious Girl - Peter Andre (haha, and this is a reggae version, lol, girl i wanna make u mine ha. hmm yeah u are soo mysterious)
10.What is 2 + 2?
Go On Girl - Neyo ( i guess that's 2 minus 1)
11.What do you think of your best friend?
Bubbly - Colby Calliat (uhhh, nah, she isnt)
12.What do you think of the person you like?
Sinulog Beat - no fuckin way, i swear to hm, it really played(creeepy!)
13.What is your life story?
Ipagpatawad mo - Janno Gibbs (ampota)
14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
Church - T-pain (`king inang yan, danz version naman , k lang)
15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Promiscious Girl - Nelly Furtado (o yeah!!)
16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
At the beginning - Disney (wow, I so like)
17.What will they play at your funeral?
Jesus take the wheel - Carrie Underwood (whoa, creepy nga)
18.What is your hobby/interest?
The closer I get to you -luther Vandross, Beyonce (tangna, pang sex lang)
19.What is your biggest fear?
You oughtta know - Alanis Morrisette (wanna know?? ;p)
20.What is your biggest secret?
If I were your woman - American Idol (that aint a secret a)
21.What do you think of your friends?
No touch - Rocksteaddy (hala, lolz)
22.What will you post this as?
Pangarap lang - Yeng Constantino(panget)
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5.Put this on your journal.
1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
bounce - Timbaland with Dr. Dre and Missy Elliot (har har)
2.How would you describe yourself?
Hear Me Now - Boyce Avenue (hala, weren't u lis`ning?)
3.What do you like in a girl?
Umbrella (:P) Rhianna
4.How do you feel today?
Welcome to the Black Parade(o fuck! Am I talking to the a-holes???)
5.What is your life's purpose?
I wish I knew How it feel to be free - Lighthouse Family (OMG, soo true)
6.What is your motto?
I'm Sorry - Moonstar88 (say what???!)
7.What do your friends think of you?
Beautiful Girl s- Sean Kingston (har har, tangna, totoo nga!) wink wink
8.What do you think of your parents?
Place of my heart - American Idol (for real man!)
9.What do you think about very often?
Mysterious Girl - Peter Andre (haha, and this is a reggae version, lol, girl i wanna make u mine ha. hmm yeah u are soo mysterious)
10.What is 2 + 2?
Go On Girl - Neyo ( i guess that's 2 minus 1)
11.What do you think of your best friend?
Bubbly - Colby Calliat (uhhh, nah, she isnt)
12.What do you think of the person you like?
Sinulog Beat - no fuckin way, i swear to hm, it really played(creeepy!)
13.What is your life story?
Ipagpatawad mo - Janno Gibbs (ampota)
14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
Church - T-pain (`king inang yan, danz version naman , k lang)
15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Promiscious Girl - Nelly Furtado (o yeah!!)
16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
At the beginning - Disney (wow, I so like)
17.What will they play at your funeral?
Jesus take the wheel - Carrie Underwood (whoa, creepy nga)
18.What is your hobby/interest?
The closer I get to you -luther Vandross, Beyonce (tangna, pang sex lang)
19.What is your biggest fear?
You oughtta know - Alanis Morrisette (wanna know?? ;p)
20.What is your biggest secret?
If I were your woman - American Idol (that aint a secret a)
21.What do you think of your friends?
No touch - Rocksteaddy (hala, lolz)
22.What will you post this as?
Pangarap lang - Yeng Constantino(panget)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
valentines day...
This valentines day is just like the day I celebrated it last year. Alone. Hmm. Well, Kinda.. It's like I'm getting used to it since I've been through it a couple of times already.
As for me, I don't case if you're aware or wherever or what not, as long as you greet me happy Valentines day and that's eat. I forgot if I eat sumthin special this Valentines(too bad, I updated it too long plus I have bad memory)
If other people can celebrate their birthday alone and I can live my life without having a relationship per se', then maybe I can do that as well. That's hard. oohhh. Parang I hate myself when I wrote that a(lol) It's all in the mind.
I can grow up, within a minute of throwing some papers up and dusting every doorstep but that's a choice. And this is like the same old valentine's day I used to celebrate with someone, but this time, with my friends and some text messages of sweetie.
I didnt receive flowers from her, but got 3 white roses from a friend. Well, every girls in the office was given a flower. That came from Regin. I love it.
So even if we celebrate valentines spectacularly as we ever want to, if the situation wont allow it, I wont happen. It just will not happen.
As for me, I don't case if you're aware or wherever or what not, as long as you greet me happy Valentines day and that's eat. I forgot if I eat sumthin special this Valentines(too bad, I updated it too long plus I have bad memory)
If other people can celebrate their birthday alone and I can live my life without having a relationship per se', then maybe I can do that as well. That's hard. oohhh. Parang I hate myself when I wrote that a(lol) It's all in the mind.
I can grow up, within a minute of throwing some papers up and dusting every doorstep but that's a choice. And this is like the same old valentine's day I used to celebrate with someone, but this time, with my friends and some text messages of sweetie.
I didnt receive flowers from her, but got 3 white roses from a friend. Well, every girls in the office was given a flower. That came from Regin. I love it.
So even if we celebrate valentines spectacularly as we ever want to, if the situation wont allow it, I wont happen. It just will not happen.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
what happened was..
from the office I went to SSS makati for an ID picture taking. coolness, it took me 2 hours waiting inside the crowdy SSS office. I went directly to Mall of Asia to get my digicam and found out that they forgot to put the Swarovski crystals I requested.
before going home, I hang out and ate lunch at Kenny Rogers, smoked alone and think, whatelse. what went wrong?
they were my "old friends". We have been together ever since I started working here but hell, those things were messed up because.. I dont know. or maybe because I always break their rules. o yeah, I'm more opinionated and when I know I'm right, I'll say a word. and those people hated me for that. :D what can I do, my opinion is important and I have the right to say my thing. I guess my strong personality is also one of the factor they hated me.
fawk, are u bitter vange? hmm.. i guess a lil. I am a liar if i said Im not. bitter because of how unprofessional they are when it comes to decision making. they knew that when i reached the final interview, i have the biggest chance than those two assholes that knew nothing but to jack off and slack. hell, yeah im fawkin bitter.. darn.
i smoked the cigarette that i was holding and talked to Him, yeah Lord, I know this isn't the plan that u have for me, so there, just lead me to whatever plans you have, ok?..saying these lines while switching sim on my phone. suddenly my phone rang...appeared 632... when i picked up, it was from recruitment inviting me for an examination for qa post for Sucat. wtf.
she said there will be an examination even though i'm already a qa analyst. hmmm. i haven't taken that exam before so i's kinda nervous. planning, comprehension.. those were the things i've heard from the other applicants. hmm. i'm just crossing my fingers. and i just hope hindi ako mapulitika hanggang sucat. shit nila.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
terrible and not a happy new year
As I've mentioned on my wishlist, my predictions were quite true. I was soo happy when I arrived in the office because Eggie and I were full.
But my happiness didn't last long because I heard that Kim and Jc received the same e-mail inviting them for a final interview. and me?? as expected, I haven't received one. Yeah, I expected it already since Glenda's the one who do the interview, but hell I don't care about it, masakit pala. :(
I went outside with eggie and smoke. Di ko pala kaya. Hanggang ngayung sinusulat ko to, masakit shit. Hindi ko matanggap na hindi marunong magpronounce ng english at bulol ang makakasama sa final interview and not me. I am saying this because I know that i deserve the position waaaay better than them. Pero wala. Sorry na lang ako. shit sorry na lang ako. putangina.
Monday, December 31, 2007
new year's resolution
arrgh, i dunno if this would be really done this year but i am hoping. it's not bad to just list down what i need to do, change or what not. but i'l try my best..
wishes:
1. deep inside i'm doubtful. everyone who applied were too worried just like me. apparently this new year will give us WHO and will left others unhappy. i don't wanna disclose this info yet because im still hoping, even so i knew i cannot be chosen because of the devil. like i always mentioned, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
2. good health. to me and amber. im getting old.. and older this february and i am always giving an overtime to the guddam office but im still sane. darn. bawal magkasakit.
3. meet neo. hmm, i have celebrated my christmas and new year with my family. and this person. yeah, we always texted, we chat and we talk.. and later on we'll meet. i've been harsh on this person but that made her loved me more. i always hope this whenever i had a relationship. could you be my NEO?
will do:
1. travel a lot!! inside and outside the country, last year, I only travelled once in Bangkok, and locally in tagaytay, pangasinan and malolos, bulacan. and this year, i'l start with my cebu travel. i'm planning a lot more for a trip. kewl.
2. earn and save. i'l work and earn and save. im not gonna be an impulsive buyer nemore. since i earned a lot from stocks and all, i have more to spend. but nah. i need to save to buy good stuff for my own sake.
3. buy a unit. i'm planning to buy my own unit here in Valenzuela and if it turns out good, then i'l buy it. Also, my condomates were planning to rent a unit where we can earn just like albert. cant wait to start it.
4. business. run your chinese blood inside. i need to start my business now and i have a prospected one already. i just need to make a deep analysis on it more.
i guess i've listed a lot already... i just hope i can achieve it all this year.
Monday, December 24, 2007
merry christmas
we had our noche buena feast but i forgot taking pictures of them. looks like i enjoyed much of it. it was soo good that i'm home on christmas day unlike the other times that i need to stay in the office and work my ass up. but now, i'm with my daughter. coolness.
We prepared the brownies to give away and as early as 8 in the morning, children were buzzing the doorbell. hay..ate has a lot of inaanaks and non-inaanaks who came in for their ninang and most likely to see the house.
But amber and me just bonded our time together, coloring books and wear the mask. luv it.
amber in the mall
lying together
riding a pedicab
ate and amber
nguso sige
dalaga na baby ko
at globe business center
are u gonna buy babe?
with the big xmas tree at home
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
accounts
I've spoken to my ex that had all my email accounts. When we were still together, I gave all the accounts that I have, whether it's an email or anything that has a password, name it, and she had it.
When we broke up, I never had it and she changed all my passwords. I was soo pissed at that time and one thing I did was to create a new email account and live with it. Of course I was thinking I couldnt do anything about it `nemore but just forget everything that I had with the lost accounts.
I never thought I could still have it and wht not, but yesterday, when I spoke to her, she gave it to me for whatever reasons. I knew that it doesn't matter to me whether I can have them back but I am happy.
Those accounts were dear to me since some of it was created when I first started to learn about sending emails =), my first friendster account and now I have two. :0
Me and my ex were Ok now. and I hope we're just gonna be friends. It's hard to give trust again 100%. After all, all of my ex's were my friends, except one. Darn..my mind says.. I don't wanna talk about nonesense things.
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